Have to Do This Quick

I think I can put my iPhone down long enough to actually write this post. We'll see how long I can go. 

The thing is fucking amazing people. Believe the hype. All of it. I could download a new app every day if i felt like it. Maybe I do, now that I think about it. There is really no reason for me to list all of the things I love about it, I could go on and on. This is one of the coolest, funnest most useful peices of technology ever created. 

Back to my iPhone.

Peace

Celebrating Black History Month

              

So, What fucking year is it? Where am I? What the fuck is going on here? 

The cartoon, you all know. The pic is a shot of a couple of animal rights activist from that altruistic, make the world a better place group: PETA.  They are protesting a fucking dog show. The pamphlets explain how the American Kennel Club is just like the KKK because they continue to purvey the unspeakable evil of pure bread dogs. And that, according to PETA, is just like the Royal Knights of the Ku Klux Klan attempting to exterminate black people in pursuit of there pure white America (and the world if they thought it was possible). Take a minute to digest that...

Now to Rupert's Rag. How in the hell does this get published. This is one of those racist situations that Dave Chapelle describes as "Seeing something so racist, that you can't even speak for a second". Not only is the first black president (and by proxy, all black people) a monkey; he's a fucking dead one. Shot by two white cops! I don't want to hear shit about some monkey in Connecticut or Rhode Island or where ever the fuck either. I had not even heard that story until after I saw the cartoon. The "artist" new what this meant when he submitted it. He knew, and he didn't care, and neither did anyone at the fucking Post. 

So what have we learned during black history month folks? 

That its fine to use the image of an organization bent on the extermination of an entire race, and the power of that image, to prove the point that you don't like the idea of pure bread dogs. Cuz, hey, exterminating black people is just like breeding two yorkshire terriers. And our second lesson: black people are monkeys, not human beings as we thought, and they should be shot. 

And yes, this is my second racism post in a row. I'm black every day, and this shit keeps happening. What the fuck do you want from me?

Lets Be Real Here

I guess because it's Presidents Day, CSPAN released their ranking of all the presidents and The History Channel (one of the best channels in HD) ran a marathon of 30 minute specials about each pres. On NPR this morning, they were discussing CSPAN's list. Hearing the discussion only caused one feeling in me... rage. 

The moderator, the woman being interviewed and numerous callers kept referring to Jefferson, Washington, Adams, Jackson and the rest of them as "Great Men". Lets get this straight. Great people do not own other people. Period. If I met James Madison, he would just as soon spit in my face and put his cigar out on my forehead as shake my fucking hand. He and all of the men who proceeded him and most who followed were slave owners. By definition, bad people. Horrible, despicable people. And aren't these the same mother fuckers who presided over the genocide of countless Native American cultures. How many points is that worth on CSPAN's list. 

"But they are our founding fathers, they wrote the Constitution." 

Once again, lets get this straight. They had a grand plan for what they wanted for themselves and those close to them (socially, ethnically and economically close). That grand plan didn't become a set of great, transcendent ideas until they began to apply to everyone. And these fuckers fought as hard as they could to keep those ideas from applying to everyone. People have fought, been lynched, hanged and have suffered injustices to numerous to name in order for those ideas to begin to apply to all Americans. 

So lets stop calling these greedy, small minded men; who all but wiped out one entire race and enslaved another; Great Presidents. They were just men, men with no morals, fuck them. 

Guess What I Got! And boy is it fucking wonderful. Really even better than I expected. I've had it for almost 36 hours now and I've probably had it in my hand for 30. The famed App Store is as advertised, there is and app for just about anything (and a surprising amount of good free ones). But I don't have to give you a review of the iPhone, everybody already knows the details. 

The best part is the cool factor, and I'm not afraid to admit that. Its a sleek, shiny, cool piece of technology and pulling it out on the train just fuckin feels great. I know that's my not so inner nerd talking but that's the point. The iPhone can bring the nerd out in all of us. It's like the computers we dreamed about when we were kids having the "wouldn't it be cool if..." conversation. A friend of mine, who's had one for a few months, said last night: "It's like a cult". Well, I'm a true believer. 

In other news....

This Michael Phelps thing bothers me to no end. Talk about a fucking witch hunt. And the problem isn't the sheriff of this hick town, or that that someone took the picture. The problem is this countries draconian Marijuana laws. When is the law going to catch up to logic?  What the kid (he's 23) did is no different than having a beer or smoking a cigarette (those may be worse for you but that's not the point I'm making here). At least 8 people have been arrested and who knows how much damage this could do to their lives, and Phelps could be next. I read that the sheriff really feels that he has no choice, he has evidence that a crime was committed in his jurisdiction and he must act. I don't know if that's true but, why in the hell is this still a crime? Seriously, someone give me one good reason? Actually, I'll settle for any reason at all. I just don't get it. 

Fuck it, I'm going to take a bong hit and play with my iPhone. 

Its List Time

So during an amazing Super Bowl weekend. About 3/4 of the way through the bottle of Maker's. It was time for some Dave Matthews. Now I make no bones about it, I fuckin love Dave. Luckily for me, I was introduced to it before anyone told me it isn't cool to like it. 

So as it starts I turn to my friend Dan and asked if he liked Dave. He said "Well, let me tell you the truth, I like him but I don't tell anyone because I thought no one else did". Hilarious. And it made me start thinking about all the so called guilty pleasure songs that run through my head all the time. So, its time to bare my bad taste soul. Without further ado, my guilty pleasure top 10 (in no particular order cuz thier all bad):

1. Back to Good ~ Matchbox 20 (I told you it would be bad)

2. Anything by Phil Collins (I barely call this a guiltly pleasure, Phil is the man)

3. Time After Time ~ Cyndi Lauper and, especially, the Eva Cassidy version

4. Day Dream Believer ~ The Monkeys (Thats right, I said it, I'm actually listening to it right now)

5. Anything by Guns & Roses 

6. Africa ~ Toto (I defy anyone to listen to this song and not be happy for at least 4 minutes)

7. Wanted Dead or Alive ~ Bon Jovi (John, Ritchie, a stage and a double guitar. Need I say more.)

8. Anything by Bone Thugs In Harmony (I mean, the name alone man...)

9. In the Arms of an Angel ~ Sarah McLachlan (Really, Really bad. I know, what can I do?)

10. Mad World ~ Tears for Fears, but I like the Gary Jules version. (And, yes. It is because of the Gears of War commercial)

Whew... That was cathartic. Don't leave me out here all alone. What are some of yours?